see nothing but the dark and the rain falling across the light from the window。 So that was it。 The baby was dead。 That was why the doctor looked so tired。 But why had they acted the way they did in the room with him？ They supposed he would e around and start breathing probably。 I had no religion but I knew he ought to have been baptized。 But what if he never breathed at all。 He hadn't。 He had never been alive。 Except in Catherine。 I'd felt him kick there often enough。 But I hadn't for a week。 Maybe he was choked all the time。 Poor little kid。 I wished the hell I'd been choked like that。 No I didn't。 Still there would not be all this dying to go through。 Now Catherine would die。 That was what you did。 You died。 You did not know what it was about。 You never had time to learn。 They threw you in and told you the rules and the first time they caught you off base they killed you。 Or they killed you gratuitously like Aymo。 Or gave you the syphilis like Rinaldi。 But they killed you in the end。 You could count on that。 Stay around and they would kill you。
Once in camp I put a log on top of the fire and it