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剛才一直在思念上個星期我們偎依在一起的時光。這個世界就像個小丑,它滑稽的表演不斷地減少我的快樂,而非增加我的快樂。在那之前的一個晚上,我緊緊摟著你的腰!我知道你也沒有忘記這些!親愛的人兒,我們至少共同擁有過去愉快的記憶,這也預示了美好的未來。回憶總是甜蜜的,非常甜蜜,甜蜜中瀰漫著你那可愛的個性,我的寶貝。我們肯定擁有共同的未來,這些足以彌補現在上帝疏忽的過失。但是,但是,主啊,等待是多麼艱難啊!我試著鎮定地對待這件事,還希望用忍耐哲學來助我一臂之力,但這些都沒有用。我需要你!我需要你!我需要你!親愛的小蜜蜂,我親愛的小蜜蜂,我是多麼多麼愛你啊!小愛人,我的小愛人,我是多麼愛慕你啊!

然而現在,唉,在我這麼需要你的時候,你卻在一個遠離我的世

界——

“我是一名王子,

我的喜悅被壓抑著,

慾望也得不到滿足。”

從今晚開始還有一週——令人發狂的想念!

吉恩

1914年10月9日,星期五

Eugene O'Neill 。 想看書來

尤金·奧尼爾致比阿特麗斯·阿茜(2)

To

Tuesday Night; October 6;1914

My Own;

Here I am back at the old dump once more feeling more lonely and heartsick than ever。 It sure is hard to have to leave you this way; and I am fervently praying to all the Gods that the time will soon e which will bring surcease of all these soul�aches which make life so horrible and full of pain。 Ah My Own; My Own; how I love you; and how the relentless hours drag their leaden feet when I am not with you!

I am thinking of last night and of all the wonder which is you; and my great desire moans from the depths of its abysmal aloneness。 “Give us; ah; give us but yesterday!”

Life has bee for me a phantom show in which there are but two realities—you and my love for you。 All else is misty shadow of illusion; vain fretting most valueless。 I exist as I am reflected in you。 I can only endure myself when I see my image in your eyes—in their gray pool does this Narcissus see himself; and admire; and feel so proud to be there。

“It's a long; long way to Tipperary” and countless aeons before my birthday when I shall again feel your soft warm lips on mine。 I could shake the skies with my fruitless cries; gnash my sharp (according to you) teeth with my rage at fate—but what's the use? Time will

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