er to lapse away。
Cold； he called her； selfish； only caring about herself； a
foreigner with a bad nature； caring really about nothing； having
no proper feelings at the bottom of her； and no proper niceness。
He raged； and piled up accusations that had some measure of
truth in them all。 But a certain grace in him forbade him from
going too far。 He knew； and he quivered with rage and hatred；
that she was all these vile things； that she was everything vile
and detestable。 But he had grace at the bottom of him； which
told him that； above all things； he did not want to lose her； he
was not going to lose her。
So he kept some consideration for her； he preserved some
relationship。 He went out more often； to the 〃Red Lion〃 again；
to escape the madness of sitting next to her when she did not
belong to him； when she was as absent as any woman in
indifference could be。 He could not stay at home。 So he went to
the 〃Red Lion〃。 And sometimes he got drunk。 But he preserved his
measure； some things between them he never forfeited。
A tormented look came into his eyes； as if something were
always dogging him。 He glanced sharp and quick； he could not
bear to sit still doing nothing。 He had to go out； to find
pany； to give himself away there。 For he had no other outlet；
he could not work to give himself out； he had not the
knowledge。
As the months of her pregnancy went on； she left him more and
more alone； she was more and more unaware of him； his existence
was annulled。 And he felt bound down； bound； unable to stir；
beginning to go mad； ready to rave。 For she was quiet and
polite； as if he did not