hing she wanted to think about right now。
Upstairs； Blair took a long hot shower by candlelight； trying to let the water wash away her nagging frustrations。 Nate had looked so happy tonight； so different from the tormented Nate of last winter。 When she closed her eyes she saw him laughing； tugging a toboggan up a hill。 She saw him lobbing snowballs at Serena。 Hugging Jenny。 She saw him smiling； his green eyes glittering。 She stepped out of the shower and toweled off； pulling on a Cosabella tank top and shorts set before heading into the bedroom。 Chuck was already asleep； his breathing deep and even。
She climbed into bed and lay next to Chuck； turning over so she was lying on her side。 She couldn’t get fortable。 Lying next to Chuck didn’t feel right。 Instead； she found herself thinking about a certain attic bedroom。
Maybe she and Nate needed to talk。 Or kiss。 One more time。 One last time。 Just to say goodbye； so she could get rid of all the confusing feelings swirling around her brain。 So that she could finally enter her grown…up life； without any worries about her past ing back to haunt her。 She swung her legs out of bed； grabbed a candle from the antique oak dresser； and headed for the door。
Next door； Serena lay awake in bed。 Dan was sleeping with his cell phone clutched to his chest like a tiny electronic life preserver。 She felt alone with her jumbled thoughts。
Being outside with Nate had been so fun； so natural。 She wasn’t playful when she was with Dan。 She always hesitated for a half second before she said anything； worried she’d disappoint him by not sounding smart。 She hated worrying。
She wondered what Nate was doing upstairs。 He’d seemed disappointed when Blair wanted to go inside； like he wished he could stay outside a