made me in Venice using adulterated gold and brought me here； passing me
off as twenty…two…carat Ottoman gold。 Your sympathy and understanding are
much obliged。
Based on what I could gather from being in the mint in Venice； this
business has been going on for years。 Until recently； the debased gold pieces
that the Veian infidels brought to the East and spent were Veian ducats
which they minted in that same mint。 We Ottomans； forever respectful of
whatever is written； paid no heed to the amount of gold in each ducat—so
long as the inscription remained the same—and these fake Veian gold
pieces flooded Istanbul。 Later； noting that coins with less gold and more
copper were harder； we began to distinguish the coins by biting them。 For
example； you’re burning with love； you go running to Mahmut； that youth of
unsurpassed beauty； beloved by all； first； he takes into his soft mouth the
coin—not the other thing—and biting it； declares it counterfeit。 As a
consequence； he’ll take you to Heaven for only half an hour instead of one full
hour。 The Veian infidels； realizing that their counterfeit coins presented
such disadvantages； decided that they might as well counterfeit Ottoman
coins； reasoning that the Ottomans would be fooled again。
Now； let me draw your attention to something quite bizarre： When these
Veian infidels paint； it’s as if they’re not making a painting but actually
creating the object they’re painting。 When it es to money； however； rather
than making the real thing； they make its count