ut of fear after doing away with
that wicked slanderer； or how much I improvised。 Having devoted much of the
conversation to flattery； I was anticipating that Enishte Effendi would show
me the two…page illustration and put me at ease。 Why didn’t he realize this
was the only way I might overe my fears about being mired in sin？
Intending to startle him； I defiantly asked； “Might one be capable of
making blasphemous art without being aware of it？”
In place of an answer； he gestured very delicately and elegantly with his
hand—as if to warn me there was a child sleeping in the room—and I fell
pletely silent。 “It has bee very dark；” he said； almost in a whisper；
“let’s light the candle。”
175
After lighting the candlestick from the hot coals of the brazier which heated
the room； I noticed in his face an expression of pride； one to which I was
unaccustomed； and this displeased me greatly。 Or was it an expression of pity？
Had he figured everything out？ Was he thinking that I was some sort of a base
murderer or was he frightened by me？ I remember how suddenly my thoughts
spiraled out of control and I was stupidly listening to what I thought as if
somebody else was thinking。 The carpet beneath me； for example： There was a
kind of wolflike design in one corner； but why hadn’t I noticed it before？
“The love all khans； shahs and sultans feel for paintings； illustrations and
fine books can be divided into three seasons；” said Enishte Effendi。 “At first
they are bold； eager and curious。 Rulers want painting