incere
regret I felt at that moment because I hadn’t read the Koran for so long； or the
horror of the crime I’d seen at the coffeehouse that night； but when my turn
came to speak； I grew confused； my heart quickened as if I’d e under the
threat of some danger； and as nothing else came to mind； I simply said the
following：
“You remember those verses at the end of ”The Cow‘ chapter？ I’d want
most of all to depict them： “Oh God； judge us not by what we’ve forgotten
and by our mistakes。 Oh God； burden us not with a weight we cannot bear； as
with those who have gone before us。 Forgive and absolve us of our
transgressions and sins！ Treat us with mercy； my dear God。”“ My voice broke
and I was embarrassed by the tears I shed unexpectedly—perhaps because I
was wary of the sarcasm that we always kept at the ready during our
apprenticeships to protect ourselves and to avoid exposing our sensitivities。
I thought my tears would quickly abate； but unable to restrain myself； I
began to cry in great sobs。 As I wept； I could sense that each of the others was
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overe by feelings of fraternity； devastation and sorrow。 From now on； the
European style would be preeminent in Our Sultan’s workshop； the styles and
books to which we’d devoted our entire lives would slowly be forgotten—yes；
in fact； the whole venture would e to an end； and if the Erzurumis didn’t
throttle us and finish us off； the Sultan’s torturers would leave us
maimed…But as I cried； sobbed and sighed—even though I continued to
listen to the sad pa