d at last； she was a heavy Welshwoman； and till now her habitual nasal strains had never been regarded by me in any other light than as a nuisance； to…night I hailed the first deep notes with satisfaction； I was debarrassed of interruption； my half… effaced thought instantly revived。
“A new servitude！ There is something in that；” I soliloquised （mentally； be it understood； I did not talk aloud）； “I know there is； because it does not sound too sweet； it is not like such words as Liberty； Excitement； Enjoyment： delightful sounds truly； but no more than sounds for me； and so hollow and fleeting that it is mere waste of time to listen to them。 But Servitude！ That must be matter of fact。 Any one may serve： I have served here eight years； now all I want is to serve elsewhere。 Can I not get so much of my own will？ Is not the thing feasible？ Yes—yes—the end is not so difficult； if I had only a brain active enough to ferret out the means of attaining it。”
I sat up in bed by way of arousing this said brain： it was a chilly night； I covered my shoulders with a shawl； and then I proceeded TO think again with all my might。
“What do I want？ A new place； in a new house； amongst new faces； under new circumstances： I want this because it is of no use wanting anything better。 How do people do to get a new place？ They apply to friends； I suppose： I have no friends。 There are many others who have no friends； who must look about for themselves and be their own helpers； and what is their resource？”
I could not tell： nothing answered me； I then ordered my brain to find a response； and quickly。 It worked and worked faster： I felt the pulses throb in my head and temples； but for nearly an hour it worked in chaos； and no result came of its efforts。 Feverish with vain